41788
Joke of the Day
"The lengths I'm willing to go to avoid somebody I know in a supermarket could count as cardio."
Next Joke
"On a date, she said ""You smell nice. What have you got on?"" ""I've got a hard on. But I didn't know you could smell it."""
"What does a prostitute have in common with Sting? They both stop sucking when The Police are around."
"[Car breaks down] Me:*inspecting engine* Date: is everything ok? Me: *nervously searching 100 now empty hamster wheels* haha..y-yep"
"The Nintendo 64 turns 18 this week... Which means you can now legally blow the cartridges."
"I want to do an essay on chronology and hand it in late... ... so the professor can say ""it's about time!"""
"While my husband is gone I was cleaning...the Nutella jar. He will be impressed at how I gained 10lbs in 4hrs."
"Why don't you see tampons with maxi pads? Because they're stuck up cunts."
"My ex broke up with me but left a bag of chips in my car. 3 weeks passed and I texted ""I still got your chips if you want them."""
"How i feel when i find out Tom Brady is suspended for 4 games"