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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair when you're done."

"I think the saying ""every man for himself"" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches"

"a cauliflower is a plant explosion in extremeley slow motion"

"What is the difference between a baby and a alarm clock? You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet..."

"I just burned 2000 calories! That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven and take a nap."

"How do you get a Jewish girls number? you ask her to roll her sleeves up."

"If bullshit could float...you'd be the Admiral of the fleet! "

"A blind man walks into a bar ..and into a table and a chair."

"Why did the customer slap the cashier? Because he was checking her out."

"According to really smart people I should have started saving 20 years ago."