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Joke of the Day

"Why did the scare crow get a raise? Because he was outstanding in his field. Annnnd you all have cancer now."

"i like how at the end of old movies it says the end' so you arent horrorstruck by the thought of a fictional universe persisting unobserved"

"This is my favorite least offensive offensive joke Which football player gets the most wedgies? The tight ends."

"You can say what you like about Hitler... ...at least he killed Hitler."

"A guy came up to me in the street today... ...and asked me if I wanted to enter a raffle for cancer? I thought, ""what a shit prize..."""

"Excuse me, miss, you've got a little bit of face on your makeup there."

"Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

"Did you hear about the guy with five penises? His condom fit like a glove."

"What did one hungry unborn baby say to the other? Fetus"

"Tell me Jeeves, are lemons tweeting? -No,sir. -Well, it seems I squeezed the canary in my tea again."