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Joke of the Day

"I really like working with spices... My newest recipe is cumin cider."

"Did you know the right Woman can make you a Millionaire? You just have to start as a billionaire."

"The other day, an ex girlfriend of mine was hit by a bus near my house And I thought to myself ""that could've been me"" Then I remembered - I can't drive a bus"

"Why did Angelina tell Brad to do squats? Because she was tired of a bottomless pitt."

"What do Kanye West and North Korea have in common? They are both being screwed by a person named Kim."

"What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out"

"""I feel like I got off on the wrong foot."" - Star of a foot fetish flick criticizing his performance"

"I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one."

"A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street... when they see a little boy walking towards them. The priest says, ""Hey, let's go fuck that little boy over there!"" The rabbi says, ""Out of what?"""

"The sculpture of Amelia Earhart in the Burbank airport doesn't give me that warm fuzzy feeling before flying."