41631
Joke of the Day
"I really like working with spices... My newest recipe is cumin cider."
Next Joke
"So George Harrison's song, ""Isn't It A Pity?"" came on the radio... ...and I said, with all sincerity, ""Awesome! Isn't it a pity?!"""
"I once accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. It was embarrassing and cost a fortune in stamps."
"Poor Susie! Q: Why couldn't Susie ride the swings? A: Because she has no arms! Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie!"
"Me: That tree is impeckable ""Don't you mean impeccable?"" *cut to woodpecker with a broken beak* Me: No. Also how did you pick up on that?"
"Flash mobs are so not what I thought. Now I've gotta go find my clothes."
"If there's one thing I've learnt in life it's to stay clothed during sensitive conversations."
"Why couldn't the shoes go out and play? They were all tied up."
"First they came for the fat, whiny losers, and I said nothing, because they got me immediately. I was like the first person they got."
"A broom only likes one brand of comedy. Dustpan."