41609

Joke of the Day

"Your blood pressure looks normal, I'll fix that. - Children, every five minutes."

"I've been putting vodka in my fruit smoothies. Also no fruit."

"Some kids called me fatty as I walked down the street today. I just turned the other chin."

"Have you heard of the Tempura House? It's a shelter for lightly battered women."

"Join the war against masturbation!!! We can beat it together!!!"

"Why don't midgets ever get accepted into nudist colonies? They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business."

"Why was the vegetable store robber embarrassed? He got caught taking a leek"

"Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer? Because he had been told to ice it."

"What did the Magician say when he took some Adderall? Hocus Focus"

"Just Netflixed ""2012."" Six Billion people dead at film's end. Was prepared because PG-13 rating warned of ""Mild Violence"""