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Joke of the Day

"Short story about sharpness. Man 1: What is more sharp Mouth or Anus? Man 2: Mouth. Man 1: Can you cut your shit using your Mouth? Man 2: ..."

"getting a teardrop tattoo for every leaf i've accidentally stepped on"

"A rainbow.. Is gods little way of frowning at gay people"

"How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat? One. It's a trick question."

"I've been watching so much porn lately I spit on my hotdog before putting it the bun."

"I like my whiskey as I like my women. 12 years old and mixed with coke"

"Small problem with Donald Trump's like logic. Yes Donald, you can build a wall, yes you can make the Mexican's pay for it. But who's gonna build the wall?"

"I just want to love someone half as much as a dog loves anyone"

"I wish I'd get as emotional about politics as I do about a chip breaking off in the dip."

"When I was a kid, I asked my mom if I could lick the beater. ""Don't be stupid,"" she said, ""your father's not home."""