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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I squat... ...and pull my legs up to my chest and lean forward. Why? That's how I roll."

"You know who are the best pussy magnets? Gynecologists.."

"What US State has the smallest soft drinks? Mini-Soda (Minnesota) Such a bad joke... :/"

"A magician says to his wife to 'Pick a card. Any card.' She takes his credit card and leaves."

"What do Mexicans use to cut a pizza? Little Caesar's"

"I keep hearing about kids accidentally dying from trying to get an asphyxiation high. What happened to drugs, kids?! We still have drugs!"

"In the street today, an unattractive woman asked for my number, so I gave her a fake. Still feel a bit guilty, as I'd just totaled her car."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them."

"People are so fake how can you love your newborn baby when you met it like 2 minutes ago and don't know anything about it"

"I hate it when people call me racist... When I'm not. I hate all races equally."