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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue? You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish ""What about the glue?"" I knew you'd get stuck on that."

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"Have you ever stroked a parrot? I bet you've stroked a cockatoo..."
"UVA did something King James couldn't do.... Brought a championship to the Cavaliers!"
"Girls are like blackjack... I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14."
"Have you ever noticed women say men only have one thing on their mind? Yet women constantly ask us what we're thinking."
"Get a big metal box, label it ""TIME CAPSULE"" and take a big dump in it so people know what 2011 was like."
"You have some up dog on your shoe!! So I was in class one day and my friend turned to me and said, ""You have some up dog on your shoe"" ""What's up dog"" was my response. ""Not much bro, how about you!!!"""
"My university offers sex education lessons.... Guess I should sign up for intercouses."
"It's not my fault that I'm lazy. It walks in the family."
"My grief counselor died last week. Luckily, he was so good I didn't give a shit."