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Joke of the Day

"A man orders soup at a restaurant. The waiter sets his plate down and he sees a fly in the bowl... So he asks the waiter, ""What's this fly doing in my soup?"" The waiter responds, ""The backstroke."""

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"What's the hottest album in hell right now? Views from the 666"
"Why don't anteaters ever get sick? Because they are full of antibodies!"
"My daughter swam with dolphins for $2,000. I think she should've been able to have sex with them for that price."
"What did the physicist have for lunch? Fission chips."
"Why did the programmer die in the shower? He followed the shampoo instructions."
"I've been called a lot of names but ""designated driver"" was never one of them."
"What is a parrot's favorite game? Hide and Speak!"
"What's the difference between jelly and jam? ...I can't jelly my dick up your ass (courtesy of my younger brother, lol)"
"My date asked me if I smoked after sex. I told her ""I dunno, I've never checked."""