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Joke of the Day

"I got mad at my uncle for telling me the results of the Cubs game because he is an hour ahead of me in New York. And he doesn't have a DVR."

"sisters take a selfie crank http://grabfile.co/189159"

"The first thing out of my mouth when I was very abruptly and rudely woken up by my neighbor blaring ""Trapped in the Closet""... ""Ugh, that's the second worse way to be woken up by R-Kelly!"""

"The man is crying on the cemetry. -Why did you leave us so early? He is asked why are you so crying? Do you cry about your close relative? -No, I am crying about the first husband of my wife."

"Give a man a fish... And he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish... And he'll wanna use your yacht!"

"I could never date a homophobe... I just don't think he'd be into that."

"Me: I just broke a nail. WebMD: Finger cancer."

"What do you call a fallen tree in a forest? Natural log. Sorry about the math joke."

"I'm so proud of my African pen pal friend. He tells me he hasn't had a drink in weeks. I'm so glad, he's staying sober."

"LOL at people who ""love seafood"" but won't even eat a silverfish"