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Joke of the Day

"I told my girlfriend that I wanted to be cremated.. I then told my family that I had no specific burial requests, just make sure that they don't have me cremated, no matter what."

Next Joke
 
"If you've seen one shopping centre... You've seen a mall."
"I got my car crime-colored. It's black on black."
"""Write this down."" [Moses grabs tablet] ""Thou shalt have no other Gods bef-"" ""Slow down, fella. It's gonna take me an hour to carve 'Thou'."""
"Apparently there was a new episode of ""Biggest Loser"" on tonight... Indianapolis Colts edition."
"What has 100 balls and fuck rabbits A shotgun"
"If there's more than one apocalypse, is it apocalypses or apocali? I just want to be ready."
"A Rabbi walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Confused, the bartender asks, ""Where did you get that??"" The parrot replied, ""Oh him? New York."""
"I promised my wife I would make her feel like a princess. She is all locked up in the tower now."
"(reads smudged writing on hand during date) i just want to say that u look really preffy tonight"