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Joke of the Day

"When a cop asks if you know why you were pulled over, respond, ""I'm actually not allowed to discuss the details of the case"""

"A woman turns to her brother and says: ""Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?"" ""It must need Osteo-per-o-sis"" _Love it._"

"I have good news and bad news I've found a sock..."

"My dog left me christmas present under the tree I had to clean it up"

"When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions."

"What does Batman take with his drinks? Just ice"

"What do a coffee shop and a Japanese castle siege have in common? Baristas"

"I got charged with rape in the woods..... It's because I forest her."

"Cookies from Best to Worst: 1. Chocolate chip 2. Girl Scout 3. Oreos ... ... 727. Browser 728. Tossed 729. Raisin"

"Im eating out this old lady... Im eating out this old lady and i start to taste horse seamen, at that moment i think, "" oh grandma, thats how you died"""