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Joke of the Day

"What do Mormon's and tweekers have in common? Both ride bicycles and bust mission."

"When I got pregnant people would always say 'eating for two now are we?' I'd tell them to bugger off, I'm not cutting down."

"My kids have strategically placed items in an overflowing garbage can like they're building a Jenga puzzle. Have kids. It's fun."

"They say: ""keep your friends close and your enemies closer"". The problem is, nowadays you can't tell them apart."

"Why did Marxism never catch on in England? Because then it'd be impossible to get proper tea."

"Why didn't Kevin from Home Alone call the cops when the burglars came around? He was running a trap house."

"What do gay horses eat? Horse cock."

"Due to a gypsy curse, I gain weight each time I consume more calories than are burned by my basal metabolic rate plus daily activities."

"Which lip am I supposed to bite to look sexy in selfies? Cuz I look like a werewolf when I bite my top lip"

"Crazy People How do crazy people go through the forest?"