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Joke of the Day

"My kids have strategically placed items in an overflowing garbage can like they're building a Jenga puzzle. Have kids. It's fun."

"Your mother is so classless... .. she could be a marxist utopia"

"I renamed my toilet form John to Jim the other day- -that way, I can tell people that I wake up and go to the Jim every morning."

"I keep nacho cheese handy so in case I start to lose an argument I can pour it on my head and say ""You're arguing with nachos, you idiot""."

"I'm the type of person who tries to fall back asleep in the morning, just to finish a dream."

"a car just rolled by blasting the ""Duck Tales"" theme song so now I'm chasing after it and trying to catch up with my new best friend"

"Did you hear about the new $5 million dollar Kentucky State Lottery? The winner gets $5 for a million years."

"I have a girlfriend Not sure if this is really a joke, but everyone laughs when I say it."

"I like my pizza like I like my women Absolutely no pubic hair."

"What's the difference between a Priest and Pimples? Pimples don't come on your face until you're at least 13."