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Joke of the Day

"I've seen in war movies where women have to smother their crying babies to get them to be quiet so how come never on an airplane?"

"How do we know cats are communists? All they ever say is Mao."

"What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the other? I didn't know we lived on the same block."

"Her: 911, what's your emerge- Me: SOMEONE'S WEARING CROCS! Her: Sir, that's not an em- Me: WITH A FANNY PACK! Her: I'll send an officer."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter"

"What did the nihilist say to the physicist? Nevermind, it doesn't really matter."

"What did the American accountant say to his British counterpart? Mind the GAAP."

"I was thinking about getting a tattoo... [one liner] I was going to get a tattoo of a cross on my testicles, but I thought it would be too sacrilegious."

"There's no ""i"" in ""team"" but there are like millions of other words with ""i"" in them so what's the big deal about ""team"" anyway?"

"Children with gay fathers as parents, I seriously sympathize you all It's not easy growing up with twice the dad jokes."