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Joke of the Day
"What is 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period."
Next Joke
"Friday night. Gonna put on my dancing shoes, throw on my coolest shirt, and aimlessly browse Netflix for an hour"
"Washed up Yo mama is just like yo mama jokes, washed up and old."
"What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables? Lettuce pray they turnip."
"Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there what are you taking for it? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?"
"I have a bad feeling I'll be wearing one of those barrels with suspenders by the end of the year, but not in a fun, whimsical way."
"What do you call a philosophical priest? A deep friar"
"*plays Rocky theme song* *cracks 5 raw eggs into glass and gulps them down* *vomits on kitchen floor* *turns off music* *cleans kitchen*"
"What's the difference between Michael phelps and hitler... Michael phelps can finish a race"
"Why are DJ's called 'radio personalities' ? Because if they had the looks they'd be on TV."