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Joke of the Day

"This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik's Cube. If you kids don't know what a Rubik's Cube is, it's what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones."

"I messed up planning my New Year's party I guess you could say I dropped the ball."

"Did you hear? If the democratic candidate wins the white house... the president will be taking a pay cut. It works out to be about 22%."

"Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!"

"Japanese soccer. 'Murica, fuck yeah!"

"I got to test the new self driving prototype, the Ford Dixie But it crashed and I can't get the police to help. They hang up every time after I tell them ""My Dixie wrecked"""

"Muhammad Ali was apparently bad in bed, says his widow. Then again, he was a fighter, not a lover."

"Chihuahua is my favorite pet that is also the sound I make during a bikini wax."

"Why didn't the dog want to go into outer space? Because he was scared of vacuums!"

"""There's no I in TEAM,"" he yells. ""There's no COACH in LOCKER ROOM,"" I respond. He leaves in stunned silence, and is never seen again."