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Joke of the Day

"I've started calling my penis ""Elbow"" Because it's hard, flexible, and it's rude to have it out on the table during dinner"

"Why don't ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks."

"What did one testicle say to the other testicle? Don't talk to the guy in the middle. He is a dick!"

"I accidentally pooed my pants in an elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."

"My finger became really swollen after I jammed it Friday. And thats how I found out Im allergic to jam."

"2,000 calories of junk food costs just $3.52 a day. 2,000 calories of dense nutritional foods costs $36.32 a day. No wonder people are fat."

"Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is you are stupid and make bad descisions..."

"If you're American when you go into the toilet, and Asian when you come out, what are you on the toilet? European!"

"I'd like to be a double agent. Or maybe a single agent/pirate. Maybe even a velociraptor. Definitely a velociraptor/pirate agent."

"This morning I found a fly on my toilet seat. ... It was pissed off."