40710

Joke of the Day

"How do you find blind man on a nudist beach? It's not hard"

"Words (short and lame) Prepositions are words to not end sentences with."

"I needed some white noise yesterday to go to sleep. So i recorded myself saying ""All lives matter"" and played it on repeat until i fell asleep."

"What's the difference between everyone and bullets Everyone misses Harambe. Don't know if this is a repost or not, just heard it from a friend."

"Programmers talking... \- So I heard you've got a new girlfriend? \- Yeah, she's amazing, 35-24-35! \- Deep purple?"

"Trump's ego is so big... Trump's ego is so big that when he bangs a super-model, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off. -Seth Macfarlane, CC Roast of Trump"

"Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand."

"Hey baby, can I take your derivative.... So I can lay tangent to those curves."

"{At funeral} *holding widows hand* I'm sorry for your loss. He had so much updog ""What's updog?"" *pats her hand* Not much what's up with you"

"A plane full of redditors crashed... Is an impossible statement because a plane full of redditors wouldn't even be able to take off in the first place."