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Joke of the Day

"How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face? I forgot to wet the soap."

"What is the difference between Coors beer and a ... clitoris? A clitoris only tastes like piss for a second."

"My family has a genetic predisposition for diarrhea ... ... It runs in our jeans."

"Tibet and Tiwan REJOICE! Oh, nevermind. Wrong Chyna."

"I'm so drunk I can speak fluent Ozzy Osbourne."

"My wife left a note on the fridge that said ""This isn't working I'm going to my mom's"" I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about."

"""Full bath?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Double beds?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Pool?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Maid service?"" ""Yes sir"" ""WIFI?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Kids, I found a campsite!"""

"Hey cell phone companies, I can't think of a more terrifying selling point than ""Unlimited Talk."""

"Customer: Excuse me, are you the manager? Those Xmas Hams are expired Manager: Um... [changes sign to ""Vintage Hams""] Hipster: I'll take 4"

"Why do we never run out of math teachers? Because they are always multiplying."