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Joke of the Day
"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing... except when you're at a funeral."
Next Joke
 
"Brain: HEY 2am let's think about Greg Me: Ok Brain: He saw you scratching your nose today & thinks you picked it Me: Wa...what? Brain: Owned"
"What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? A Chocolate Chip Wookiee."
"I hated my job at medieval times because I always got stuck working on the knight shift"
"What did one gay sperm say to another gay sperm? How do we find an egg in all this shit? Credit to my friend telling me"
"What do you call a black man on the moon? An afronaut."
"A doctor and his patient **Doctor**: After the operation, you'll be a new man. **Patient**: Could you send the bill to the old man?"
"Do you know why you shouldn't wear Ukrainian underpants? Chernobyl fall out."
"[Ouija board] Spirits are you there? U R C U T E D O Y O U H A V E K I K *flips board*"
"What do you call a Phillipino contortions? A manilla folder"