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Joke of the Day

"How do you piss off a female archaeologist? Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from"

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"What do you get for stealing a slut's vegetables? Herpeas."
"Whenever I accidentally watch the Bravo channel, the last thing that comes to mind is the word, ""Bravo!"""
"I'm Canadian so if I ever apologize to you, know that it was a reflex and not sincere."
"Did you hear about the casino croupier whose hand, through a tragic accident, was reduced to a stub? Don't worry, he's dealing with it."
"What do you call a very unfriendly, female dog? A cunt."
"There are 4 states of matter... Solids, Liquids, Gases, and Black lives"
"Wife: [looking at bank statement] what's this huge charge from Clones R Us? Me: [sends group text to 7 other me's] she's on to us"
"If you want something to be misinterpreted, post it on the Internet."
"A flyer says to another flyer: ""Yo, wanna hang out tonight?"" The other one replies: ""Brochure!"""