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Joke of the Day
"Oscar Pistorious That sounds like a spell Harry Potter uses to make your legs fall off"
Next Joke
"Remember: You are like a snowflake. Beautiful. Unique. White. Only here for a short time. People get mad when you sit on their cars."
"The flat earth movement is really taking off.. There are flat earthers all around the globe"
"If you were stressed out yesterday Does that make you past tense?"
"if a child of mine is ever incredibly muscular at birth i would consider naming it XERXES in all caps like that"
"In light of Germany's discovery of ISIS using mustard gas: What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran."
"What did the lesbian mushroom say to the other lesbian mushroom during oral sex? Umami."
"What does the Pillsbury Doughboy see when he looks down? His Doughnuts."
"What is the difference between jam & jelly? I can't jelly my dick in her ass..."
"Taking to people about your child abuse experience is the toughest part. The last time i did it, i had to spend 7 years in jail."