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Joke of the Day

"I bite my nails, but you would never be able to tell because I wear socks with my sandals"

"I see your IQ test came back negative"

"The first rule of parenting is: never negotiate with terrorists."

"When you are finished with a corncob pipe, you can just feed it to a nearby pig. The Lord is amazing."

"What does a dog like to wear when it's exercising? Pants."

"In my next life, I'd like to come back as someone who has a life."

"What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier."

"What do you call it when a group of chickens rebel against their farmers? Coop d'etah"

"Donald Trump like his women like he likes his Geneva Conventions Mostly ignored, but regularly violated."

"Your mom fails so hard at life...[nsfw] I gave her a D out of sympathy."