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Joke of the Day

"I bite my nails, but you would never be able to tell because I wear socks with my sandals"

"Australians don't have sex... ...they mate"

"Caught my kid forging my signature and I have to say, pretty good for a third grader"

"Gluten Margarine, Reddit! That's Food-German for ""good morning""."

"facebook is down where are we gonna keep all of our faces"

"If Cookie Monster was going to eat a country, what country would he eat? Viet-nom-nom-nom-nom"

"My dad caught me sniffing at my sister's underwear ...while she was still wearing it. Everyone in the funeral couldn't believe what they were seeing"

"I hate when my wife says her friend at work ""got flowers again today"" and I have to kill that chick's husband."

"Have a Coke and a smile! I opened up a can of Coke, and on the side it said: ""Share a Coke with your Soulmate."" So, I put the can in my right hand."

"Accidentally OD'd On Benefiber The other day I accidentally OD'd on Benefiber. Boy, the shit really did hit the fan."