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Joke of the Day

"If there's an upset in the 2018 Russian Presidential elections, I'll never dine with a Russian again. They can't stop talking about going Putin-free."

"Hubs: There's nothing on TV *winks* Me: Remember last time? *both look at 2yo* Hubs: There's over 900 channels, we'll find something"

"(NEW YEARS) what did the rabbi say on New year's. ""f#ck that, happy **Jew** years!!"""

"If Trump Becomes President the rates of people getting fired per day will increase exponentially."

"How did the Nazis come up with the name for their concentration camp? After the first Jew off the train said ""Awe shits."""

"Police are puzzled by the theft of the police station bathrooms. .. Detectives released a statement saying that ""They have nothing to go on""."

"""No child of mine is going out in a skirt that short."" ""Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"" ""Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."""

"ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong"

"All things in moderation. Unless no one's looking."

"I was expelled from school during pajama day. It's not my fault I sleep naked."