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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a canoe and a jew? One tips the other doesn't."

"What did the lobster do at the disco? Pulled a muscle."

"I broke my finger last week On the other hand, I am okay."

"How many Alzheimer victims does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side"

"Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? So people don't mistake them for feminists"

"*co-worker approaching elevator* *I try to hit ""close door"" button* *I miss, hit ""open door""* Co-worker: thanks for holding it Me: Of course"

"*walks up to cute teller at bank* Me: you wanna grab lunch some time? T: sir, I've seen your balance. M: yea, I was hoping you'd buy."

"What's today's date? 10-4 Good Buddy!"

"I needed the loo, and only a wishing well was in sight. Well. Shit."

"An American and a German were playing ""Thumb War"" ""One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war."" ""Five, six, seven, eight, I use this hand to masturbate."" ""Einz, zwei, drei, so do I."""