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Joke of the Day
"I'm quitting drinking for good Now I drink for Evil."
Next Joke
"How much did the pirate's new earrings cost him? A buccaneer"
"I said to the gym instructor: ""Can you teach me to do the splits?"" He said: ""How flexible are you?"" I said: ""I can't make Tuesdays""."
"My printer has a drug problem And it just can't stop!"
"Did you hear about the ghost who got a vasectomy? He had phantom loads."
"Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail. Little Johnny says, ""De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."""
"Just found all my fan letters to Wolverine my wife ""promised"" she mailed stuffed behind the couch. I'm livid."
"The last person you would ever hear say ""hey gang"" is someone in an actual gang"
"Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-ee-ville or Lou-vul? Neither, it's pronounced Frankfort."
"The ""Selfie"" sorority girls Gave there tickets to the less fortunate...I'm my book that makes them charitable women and not very selfie at all"