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Joke of the Day

"What kind of fun does a priest have? Nun."

"Police last night raided the Home For Retired Thieves and Au Pairs.... ...they proceeded to search every crook and nanny!"

"What's the funniest thing you can find in a closet? Robin Williams"

"Because you know I'm all about that data, bout that data. No trouble. I'm all about that data, bout that data. No trouble."

"They say you can get to a man's heart through his stomach... Unless he's a vegetarian. Then you can get there through his vagina."

"Why do we all need a Jew for a friend? Because he'll never give you a penny for your thoughts, he'll never put his two cents in, & he'll never drop a dime on you!"

"Why did Jill fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she not get back up? Because she had no legs. What did Jill get for Christmas? A bicycle."

"A husband and his wife. ""honey I have a confession to make. I've been seeing a psychiatrist"" ""Thats's okay dear"" the wife replied. ""I've been seeing the pool man and our daughter's basketball coach"""

"Two married man talking.. 1st man: Im so lucky, my wife is an angel. 2nd man: Good for you! Mine's still alive."

"My mate was killed yesterday, the bookies he worked in collapsed and he was pinned against the wall by boxes of betting slips. Firemen tried to help but the odds were stacked against him."