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Joke of the Day
"Which trees miss you the most? Pine trees"
Next Joke
"Two angels run out of weed... One angel is very upset but the other consoles him. ""Fear not,"" he says and he points to Jesus. ""For he has resin."""
"I had my operation done privately in the end. Originally my Dad wanted to sell tickets."
"What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spitting, swallowing, and gargling."
"After seeing a picture on Reddit of the garbage near the Taj Mahal, I thought to myself ""Wow can there BE a bigger shithole?"" Then I saw the comments section"
"Success, like a fart, only bothers people when its not their own."
"Two atoms walked out of a bar. One turned to the other one and said, ""we've got to go back in there, I left an electron"" The other one asked, ""Are you sure?"" He replied, ""Yes, I'm positive"""
"Movies led me to believe there would be a whole lot more unlocked cars just sitting around with the keys tucked away in the overhead visor."
"A new scientific study regarding pizza determines who is most susceptible to burns. Turns out it is the Hipsters because they eat it before it's cool."
"[Shopping with teen son] *sees hot girl* *waits until she gets close* *grabs box of adult diapers* ""How are you doing on Depends bud?"""