213677

Joke of the Day

"Two angels run out of weed... One angel is very upset but the other consoles him. ""Fear not,"" he says and he points to Jesus. ""For he has resin."""

"Jews and pizzas What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven."

"What type of sea creature do Chinese fishermen catch? Crust-asian"

"One of the first things they tell you in AA is to stop hanging around alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back."

"Toy Story has resulted in me not being able to throw away my childhood toys in case they get depressed and want to kill themselves."

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know Y."

"me: *turns around in swivel chair* *tents fingers* I guess you never expected to see ME again... Boss: Must we do this every Monday?"

"The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend... ...I said to her, ""Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy."" She said, ""Why did you say that twice?"" I said, ""I didn't."""

"My mate said the drink I bought him tasted funny. It was a cheap shot."

"If a hippo was studying to be a neurosurgeon what school would the hippo go to? The Hippocampus!"