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Joke of the Day
"What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize."
Next Joke
"Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? Because he conditioned it."
"Hangover status: playing duct, duct, tape with the kids."
"Me when my friends are sad: 268 text messages of advice and tell them how perfect they are. Then when I'm sad: Oh, sorry ."
"What do you get when cross a joke with a rhetorical question?"
"Me: We don't have any more Girl Scout cookies and now I'm sad. Wife: I get sad, too. Like when I think about being married to a 40yo baby"
"Why did the chicken kill himself? To get to the other side."
"Roses are red, violets are blue Enjoy the cancer I just gave to you"
"If a genie grants you 3 wishes, use the first one to make the genie develop short term memory loss, and then keep making 2nd wishes forever."
"Whats the hardest part of cooking a potato? Signing the legal guardian paperwork"