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Joke of the Day

"The Chinese stock market... >Is the safest market in the world, the most transparent market, the least fluctuating market, the most democratic market."

"I've never run a marathon, but once I walked real fast across a parking lot because Krispy Kreme was about to close."

"So this pirate walks into a bar and he has the ships wheel attached to his hips. The bar tender says, ""wow that looks uncomfortable!"" The pirate responds, ""ARGH ITS DRIVING ME NUTS!!!"""

"If you love someone let them go. If they come back they probly forgot their keys or something & yikes that's gonna be an awkward 30 seconds."

"What is Minion's favourite brand? Banana Republic~BA~NA~~NA~~~"

"The 2 Golden Rules of Religion 1) Be kind to other people. 2) KILL THE FILTHY INFIDELS!!!!"

"What do you call someone who commits piracy? Neckbeard the pirate"

"72 What is 72? 69 with 3 people watching!"

"Father: Don't you think our son gets his brains from me? Mother: Probably dear. I still have all of mine."

"One of My Ex's was absolutely beautiful. But, it didn't workout because all she wanted to do was SWING. I miss third grade."