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Joke of the Day

"What seemed to be the parrots problem? Prolly wanted a cracker!"

"What do you call Judge Judy when she dresses like a vampire? Cunt Dracula"

"Found my bra in the garden. Wish it was from wild sex but I think my cat dragged it out the cat flap."

"Why do Chicken Coops have two doors? Because if they had four doors, they would be a chicken sedan. *slaps knee*"

"How many nuns are there in a temple? Nun."

"What's the only thing better than Roses on a Piano? Answer: Tulips on an Organ."

"An art museum robber is caught when he tries to get away.... A reporter asks him what went wrong with the robbery. He answers "" I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

"How do you count cows? With a cowculator."

"I'm thankful my wife harvested over $100,000 in potatoes on Farmville while I ate a grilled cheese for dinner & am sleeping on dirty laundry"

"Grammar Nazi vs. Hitler Soldier:""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores."" Hitler:""So mine less!"" [Grammar Nazi busts in] ""MINE FEWER"" [Hitler looks up] ""Yes?"""