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Joke of the Day

"A cool fun way to stop his snoring so you can finally get some sleep is to separate the head from the body."

"Why did the Chicken cross the road? because 7 8 9 hahahaha"

"My girlfriend told me that she looked fat, and wanted me to give her a compliment... I told her that her eyesight was outstanding."

"What has two legs and is covered in blood? Half a dog."

"Why are chorus girls like barge horses? They have to tow the line!"

"Oh my god, hotels. Relax. My stay was fine."

"6: Dad, why do you have so many nicknames for me? *I break down, no longer able to cover up that I can't remember my son's name"

"My new nickname at work should be ""Laxative"" cause I make sh*t happen."

"Tomorrow you should turn back our clocks one hour. for Daylight Saving Time Unless you're Arabic, in which case you should set it forward 14 centuries."

"So I just got back from a trip in Germany, and I realized how awful American children are. While they may be nice and all where I live in NYC, kids in Germany are kinder."