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Joke of the Day

"The cannibal nervously decided to try his first human meal Much to his dismay, he got cold feet"

"What do a piece of tuperware and a walrus have in common? They both like a tight seal."

"What do you call a deer with no eye? GoodMorning! NO IDEAR!"

"How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying."

"Threesome So, I finally talked my wife into having a threesome... So she said the only condition is that she pick the other girl... So I told her no... I will pick both of them.."

"IT: You deleted the OS? Me: I think so. IT: It didn't warn you? Me: Yeah, but it only kinda warned me. What's with the inquisition bro?"

"A man goes to a partially deaf doctors Man: Doctor Doctor I can't remember who sang the Pinball Wizard. Doctor: The....... who?"

"As I looked at the liposuction tube I realized it could be used to strangle someone... ...making it a weapon of mass reduction."

"What do laws and virgins have in common? They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)"

"3 men go to a strawberry stand... they buy some strawberries. They get stomach aches from eating the strawberries. They put on their hats and go off to work with stomach aches"