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Joke of the Day

"I dream of a world where even lactose is tolerated by everyone."

"What do you call a small dog that can store food? Pupperware"

"Why does beyonce sing about the ""box to the left"" Because women have no rights"

"Okay kids, always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"

"Fifty Shades of Grey. In anticipation for the release of Fifty Shades of Grey, many theaters have installed more powerful ventilation systems to compensate for the smell."

"I love England th... I love England the flags a big plus"

"New York record days without homicide is a lie. Turns out the guy responsible for updating the homicide-toll has been found dead at his desk with a knife in his back."

"I don't think that we should let kids listen to symphonies. There's too much Sax and Violins nowadays."

"Her: I have Netflix if you wanna come watch a movie :) Me: No it's ok, I have my own account [60 years later on deathbed] Me: Wait a minute"

"What do you call an English teacher who used to have anxiety? Past tense."