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Joke of the Day

"*Goes to Czechoslovakia to shop for a car with Automatic Braking System *Czechs for ABS"

"My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the New York City Zoo."

"My wife and I were having a bad fight when I looked down on the counter and saw a coffee mug that read 'domestic violence ends with me'... So I hit her with that."

"I'm jealous of my parents, I'll never have a kid as cool as theirs."

"People who have quit Reddit, how is life like now?"

"My new nickname at work should be ""Laxative"" cause I make sh*t happen."

"The residents of Mayberry took a course in computer programming. When the instructor said, ""Compile,"" Gomer went to the head of the class."

"did your friends rob that bank? ""I'll never talk"" I forgot that you're prejudice against robbers ""what?!? some of my best friends rob banks"""

"""Hi mom, don't worry but I'm in the hospital."" ""Heinz, stop calling me like that. You are now a doctor since 8 years."""

"The hands that help others in need are holier than the lips that pray."