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Joke of the Day

"My friend got bitten by a snake and he fell to the floor and started writhing around. It's amazing how fast the super powers kick in."

"My dad's never been proud of me The other day he asked how old I was, I said ""twenty-one"". ""When I was your age I was twenty-two"" he replied."

"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. ."

"It's taking Arby's forever to fry my salad."

"Why are orphans so bad at poker...? they don't know what a full house is"

"Why do black cats never shave ? Because 8 out of 10 cats prefer whiskas !"

"Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if you were named Aaaurrrraaaaggghh!"

"I saw these two blind guys about to fight and I shouted, ""My money's on the one with the knife."" You should have seen how fast they both ran off."

"I'm looking for a book on lack of empathy', I asked the librarian. Do I look like I give a fcuk?', he snapped. ""Yes, that's the one', I said."

"Her love makes my world go round."