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Joke of the Day

"Husband-Y r there torn condoms lying on sofa? Wife-What? Where? Wife goes 2 find them & comes back angrily saying-Will you stop calling our children ""Torn condoms""?"

"Want to hear a joke about UDP? Never mind. you won't get it, and I won't care"

"Did you hear about the man who drank bug spray? He pissed off."

"So a vegan sits down at a bar... I only know that because he won't shut the fuck up about it."

"Wife was in ICU Doctor: She is in a coma. Husband: Please save her. She's just 30. *Just then, ECG starts beeping. Fingers move. Her lips mumbled... And she spoke: I'm 29"

"What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars."

"Why did the Ogre cry when he left the doctor's office? He was diagnosed with shrecktal cancer."

"When I say ditto after someone tells me they love me, it doesn't mean I love them. It means I love me too."

"My friend was going to Ethiopia, so I asked him ""Have you ever had Ethiopian food?"" ""No, sadly"" ""That's ok, neither have they"""

"What do you call a cow that just gave birth? Decalfinated."