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Joke of the Day

"Wife was in ICU Doctor: She is in a coma. Husband: Please save her. She's just 30. *Just then, ECG starts beeping. Fingers move. Her lips mumbled... And she spoke: I'm 29"

"The Hamburglar burgled HAM. If he stole burgers, he'd be called the Hamburgerburglar."

"Who called it a ""backpack"" and not, ""the sexiest way to deliver bees to an ex."""

"Shadow dancers begin making a mock hanging motion to Katy Perry's singing"

"Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fell out of a window"

"This guys car is stopped in the middle of the hwy with his flashers on. Probably thought of a really good tweet."

"Where do ants go to eat ? At a restaurant !"

"I'd stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff."

"50 blondes Q:What do you call fifty blondes lined up ear-to-ear? A: A wind tunnel. #ThugLyfe"

"Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 10000 - to give the bulb a cultural revolution."