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Joke of the Day

"What is the most effective way of cleaning a cum stain? Baby wipes"

"""I'm constantly quoting myself. Like right now, for instance."" I just said that."

"I like to walk up to strangers and ask, ""Would you take a photo of me?"" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away."

"Did you hear Burger King is promoting a black Whopper? McDonalds responded by introducing a 3/5ths pounder."

"Blonde's Appendicitis A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, ""You have acute appendicitis."" The blonde says, ""That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."""

"TIFU : I got the wrong zoo magazine Oops wrong sub"

"I think it'd be cool to be immortal for a day, just to see what it's like."

"""Is that a banana in ur pocket or are u just happy to see me haha"" [i pull a hand full of lasagna out of my pocket] ""Actually it's lasagna"""

"If there are two things Trump voters hate... The first is being called, ""racist."" And the second is black people."

"Every chick magazine ever: You're beautiful and are perfect just the way you are! How to loose ten pounds in ten days you fat, ugly cow."