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Joke of the Day

"[Juice Bar] (Wildebeest disguised as man): 36 shots of wheat grass (Lion disguised as Bartender): Follow me out back ""sir"" *hyenas laugh*"

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"Did you know they were trying to ban MSG? It was called law 13 due to the fact that it abolished savory....I will show myself out."
"My Islamic friend had a birthday party... It was a blast!"
"My 4yo: Dad, you're old, right? Me: I'm not that old. 4: You're not new. Me: Go to bed."
"My ex still misses me... Yesterday I narrowly dodged a .22 round discharged at long range."
"My parents treat me like a god They dont believe in me"
"CAPS LOCK. BECAUSE IT'S TIME TO UNLEASH THE FURY!"
"Others change, but you should be yourself! said one corn to another in the digestive tract"
"What is the difference between Trump's tie and a horse's tail? The horse's tail covers the whole asshole"
"I like to sip a cup of coffee on a Sunday, grab a book and start worrying about Monday."