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Joke of the Day

"I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me."

"I went to a zoo that only had a dog... It was a shih tzu."

"Why did the pop band get cancer? They were radio active."

"3 Men Walk Into a Bar One of them should've noticed. (credit to my brother)"

"I have friends who swear they dream in colour but it's just a pigment of their imagination"

"Stop asking me to vote for your kid in contests. I'm too nice of a person to tell you I'm surprised you got laid in the first place."

"I'm gonna cook tons of bacon, crush it up and sell it for extra money to support my family. Bacon Bad"

"Why did the man on a lake full of docks build another one He felt the peir pressure"

"Shout out to everybody home for the holidays telling their family about conversations that happened online by saying ""My, uh... friend said..."""

"Who is the fastest runner in history. Adam - because he was the first in the human race."