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Joke of the Day

"If he buys your drink, but you're really not interested? Smile at him, thank him and then stick the olive up your nose."

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"What Do You Call Adrian Peterson Playing Baseball? A switch hitter."
"Some people live life in the fast lane. You're in oncoming traffic."
"I'm developing a fear of German sausages... I fear the wurst!"
"Watched Avatar again and long story short, can you untie my ponytail from this horse?"
"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? YOU WANNA GO RIDE BIKES??"
"I'm going to the bathroom to take a dump Can I get you anything?"
"At a business meeting: ""How about SuperCupid?"" ""No, expectations will be too high"" ""GreatCupid?"" ""Lower"" ""Uhhh, OKCupid?"" ""Brilliant"""
"Good news, The doctor says I'm health as a horse. Bad news, she keeps using large farm animals to describe me."
"HEY OFFICER, STOP SCREAMING AT ME TO PULL OVER, I'M DRUNK NOT DEAF"