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Joke of the Day

"What is the closest thing similar to a woman having a period? Your salary. It also comes once a month, and lasts about 5 days. And if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble."

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"How to sound Irish on St. Patrick's day Whale Oil Beef Hooked Now say it very fast"
"What's the difference between askreddit's mods and askreddit's subscribers? Askreddit's subscribers are ok with offensive jokes."
"Which came first: the chicken or the egg? The chicken. Eggs don't come."
"I woke up with an erection this morning... I beat it single handed"
"Why do hipsters love Harrison Ford? Because he's Indie!"
"On the off chance I'm captured by cannibals, I've got a 'Best if eaten by 1975' tattoo on my neck."
"Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things, literally."
"What does a light bulb filled with gas?"
"I'm not afraid of someone who threatens to open up a can of whoopass on me... I'm much more afraid of the people who can the whoopass to begin with."