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Joke of the Day

"What did that car driver die of?"

"I only believe 12.5% of the Bible... which means that I'm an eightheist"

"You know who the real winner is today? The guy who sells ""I voted"" stickers."

"what type of cancer do mimes get? Gesticular"

"I still remember when airlines gave you two choices; smoking, and chain smoking."

"How do you confuse a blonde? You don't. They're born that way! "

"I love bacon because I can wrap it around everything. Essentially, it's the duct tape of food."

"What's common between a good boyfriend and a lion? They're both ready to eat you"

"What do you call the Japanese police force? Kawaii Five-0"

"What's the difference between Rob Ford and a circus sideshow freak? One's a fat, ugly, disturbing waste of money. The other's married to a bearded lady."