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Joke of the Day

"No matter who you are or where you come from, all anybody wants in this life is for no one to object to their iTunes mix playing at a party."

"{batman walking downstairs} ""Hmmm. Looks like Catwoman's left me a present"" [the half-eaten corpse of Birdman lies lifeless on the carpet]"

"I once went to Africa, all the girls there were a perfect 10..... ...on the BMI scale"

"Teen girl in mirror ""I look like death!"" [Meanwhile in Hell] Death scoffs & flips his hair ""Yeah, as if"""

"There are 6 jurors on the Treyvon Martin trial. I bet they all get on the same cycle from being around each other so much... Dude better hope it isn't that time of the month when the verdict comes in."

"Just think, in 10 years you're going to wish you look as good as you do right now. Assuming you're still alive. ~inspirational"

"Just cause something is your middle name doesn't mean you do it all the time. My middle name is sexhaver. Lol ok, bad example, but"

"Find a way to dress up as ""accidentally liking someone's Facebook picture from 2 years ago"" and really scare people this Halloween."

"What do you see when you go to the tiny beach? Microwaves."

"Eric Clapton So over the years Eric Clapton has developed an aversion to Microsoft and prefers to use hardware made my by Apple instead. Why? Simply because Windows killed his child."