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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew that has to follow the Kardashian's 24/7."

"How does a man who has just had his legs cut off at the ankles feel? Defeated"

"So, how do you make your truck look like Lance Armstrong? hang one tennis ball from the tailgate!!"

"*looks up from pestle and mortar ""Powdering this baby is HARD!"""

"What's the difference between Texas and Russia? One's a disgusting cesspool full of paranoid, bigoted, anti-American sadists, and the other is really cold."

"What's Peter Pan's brother's name? Peter Pot. He gets so high he never lands."

"I'm using Internet Explorer to post this, so it might be a bit delayed... But there's a plane heading towards the twin towers right now."

"I googled 'Gary Oldman' and left off the 'r' It was the longest 3 hours of my life."

"[kicks in your door to apologize to you]"

"Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to."