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Joke of the Day

"I was 13 the first time I tried probiotics. Some kids were passing a cup of yogurt around at a party. I figured why not? Now I'm in prison."

"I remember my first internet boyfriend. I was 13, he was 55. <3"

"God: NOAH. Noah: Yes Lord? God: Where are the land sharks, flying spiders and the jumping snakes? Noah: Oh nooooo, did I forget those?"

"Have you heard about the psychic dwarf that escaped from prison last week? You should see the headlines: ""Small Medium at Large"""

"Of all the things ""Inside Amy Schumer""... ..why can't any of them be funny?"

"Why does the Egyptian god Ra own every Periodic Table? Because his name is on them."

"I think Oranges were named before Carrots ""What are these?"" ""They're orange....oranges"" ""What about these"" ""Shit....long pointys???"" Demitri Martin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYVrp_GsinE"

"You hear that asshole talking shit behind my back? I farted."

"What's the difference between a cockroach and the Japanese? A nuke won't kill a cockroach"

"My internet addiction is so bad... Its alt of ctrl."