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Joke of the Day

"I was 13 the first time I tried probiotics. Some kids were passing a cup of yogurt around at a party. I figured why not? Now I'm in prison."

"What do you call an orange thats been in the sun too long? tangerine"

"Her: I can't believe you slept with her! Me: WE WERE ON A BREAK! Her: I just went to the store to buy bread! Me: Longest six minutes ever"

"Julius Caesar sashays into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says ""Five beers, please!"""

"Great Scot, Marty! You know what you'd get if I locked myself in a room with the old-me from 1955 and convinced my other self never to build a time machine? A paradox, Marty!"

"If you are religious, then you should not wear underwear. It is holey."

"A nun who was known to smoke a pack a day just recently quit her habit. Now she just smokes naked."

"The less hair I have The more head I get"

"What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? A brick gets laid"

"Today's workout. Light weights. 1 hour parkouring rooftops on my block. It's surprising how many people have skylights in their bathrooms."