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Joke of the Day
"A Horse goes into a bar and says Nothing. Because a horse cant speak."
Next Joke
"What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone."
"When I take my drugs on Sundays, I always say ""Body of Christ"" because I'm all religious and shit."
"Wow! This whole being up early is neat; it's like daytime but sooner! Huh! The birds... they sound, you know, pretty! It's all a bit scary."
"I like my coffee like I like my women... In a burlap sack and on the back of a donkey."
"5 out of 4 people don't get jokes about fractions."
"Just gonna wait to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him."
"Im getting tired of your Barenaked Ladies marathon. It's been one week since you looked at me."
"Tried kidnapping Stephen Hawking the other day... Had the blindfold the bastard so he'd stop yelling for help."
"For you sir I would recommend one of our deluxe funeral plans where I won't dig you up and slap you around when I'm feeling mad at skeletons"